thepointofdejection.

e m P t Y

My friend said writing without ink might ease the pain.
But it didn't work.

run baby run

Saturday, December 27, 2008 [3:59 PM]

this is a very long post.

whilst gasping for breathe when the marvelousity of budapest astounded me and preoccupying with photo-taking, i realised i have yet written a formal year-end post. i just got back from dinner with mum, had a nice grilled baby lamb leg with rosemary and red wine. yumyum! i thought i wouldn't get to write this post. luckily the hotel that i'm currently inhabiting has internet connection, and this kind reception lady allowed me to use the computer for a while! kohs-zoh-nom!

where do i begin with? this is the question that has been circling inside my mind when i first thought of writing the last post for 2008. 2008 is indeed a year of thrills and perils. i know that inevitably i'll be affected by the emotions and occurances that i had came across but i'll try my best not to let them hinder the completion of this post. and i shall divide them into categories, to mark the end of this wonderful year a neat and beautiful way.

Leaving MK (Early Jan)
working in MK as a website/graphic designer was my last involvement before enlisting. as i had mentioned earlier, i really love this job, cuz it's not really that stressing. it's just that i havent really gotten accustomed to being overseen by overbearing bosses and unfriendly remarks reflected upon me. but i know that all these are unavoidable, you'll get to see good & nasty people simultaneously out there.

lady boss gave me a big red packet, as a recognition for my endurance throughout the whole employment period? haha. i'm sure MK is not that affecting enough to make me emo in the midst of leaving them. cuz something more horrible was awaiting. i knew it.

BMT (Late Jan - Early Mar)
i was lost. like a helpless child left stranded on the street. the thing is, i knew where my parents were, but i gotta face this alone, i gotta find the exit, the end to all the nightmares myself. no one can help me. i didn't know what would the ending be. i didn't know what was awaiting me at the end of this tunnel. i didn't know if there were light at the end. i just kept walking in the dark. kept walking..

i had been having sleepless nights. i prepared my stuffs by myself, checking the list, putting them neatly into the bag i newly bought. i knew that my parents were affected too, just like me, but we did not let our emotions flow, we kept it inside, cuz we know that this had to come. when that day came, my mum broke down in tears on the phone, they couldnt make it back to send me off. but i prefered it that way though.. i hoisted the bag onto my right shoulder, and headed for my unknown destination, embarked on this perilous voyage alone. everything changed.

when i was in the ferry, i was still thinking, what am i doing, am i doing the right thing? everything was so ramshackle, just like the ferry ride. then came the island, the isolation from what i used to be. my identity kept, name lost, dignity tarnished. the lunch wasnt delicious at all ok?!~ i had it alone. next our stuffs were collected, two big bags, no belts like what the airport do, no bellboy, you gotta DIY. i still remember this conversation i had with a guy i cant remember who it is.

The guy: we can take the lift right?
Me: i think so..

NO! we carried them all the way up to 4th storey. i almost fainted. we were allocated into our rooms, looking at my room mates, 'eww!~ he's so fat! eww!~ is he my buddy?! eww!~ he looks like 40!' after that i gotta change into a brown tee and black shorts, and came flying down my hairs, my stylish hairstyle.. prickling specks of hair irritated me while concentrating, or was i too emotional? *plays [emotion] by destiny's child* why couldn't they let us shower first? i was wondering was i in jail or hell. later then i realised it was both. the shower, mass shower to be precise, cool, i've never seen so many sausages in my life. after the emo phonecall back home, i forced myself to sleep. and there came another day..

i panicked when i made mistakes. i let out a sigh of relief when someone lent me a helping hand. soon chinese new year came. i had never treasured chinese new year that much. no matter how fun it was, back in i had to go again. this went on for 7 weeks, in and out, unknowingly everything ended. I MADE IT!

ironically, i miss the life during bmt, i really do.

Seattle (Mid Mar)
she opened the door and was appalled. i thought my hair had petrified her. when she ragained her senses, we hugged. that moment i knew where i belong. and i'm glad. this tentative separation will only bring us nearer and our bonds stronger. i'll never forget the nod she gave me atop the space needle. o yes, she's the one i wanna marry.

OETI (Late Mar - Mid Jun)
i spent 4 months here. the most sweet and unforgettable phase of the year. i learnt nothing though. i only gained a bunch of crazy buddies, and hatred for tanks & engines! =/

at first i sticked with my bmt buddies. i refused to leave my comfort zone and talk to other people. i refused to work and learn, cuz everything was dirty, filthy, oily, disgusting & all the negative words you can ever find in the dictionary. i know that i was unwelcomed at first, a slacker, an ill-bred ass.

gradually i began to accept the shit-hole i was in. i began to do my work. and here came you guyz, one by one. we did hell lotsa shit together, laughed together, played together. we became inseparable.

Auxiliary Staff (Mid Jun - Mid July)
i couldn't bear with it no longer. the rash was excruciating! so were the exams and practicals. to hell with them! fuck shit the instructors! i'm gonna lose my mind sooner or later if i dun quit. so i quitted. (i never knew quitting can be so easily done!)

came along with my departure was sorrow and melancholy. stayed in the office for 1 month, when i was about to get used to my life without the gang, i was put into another shithole.

LOBO (Mid Jul - Late Sep)
Left-out of-battalion-order. equivalent to trash. the suckest phase of the year. it's also the phase i read the most number of books. cuz practically i did nothing everyday. come to think of it, that's really scary. AND THIS CARRIED ON FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS!!

o well, things got better when i was attached up there. =]

SOA/PAD (Late Sep - Now)
after loafing around, back down again to attend the course. most fucked up and depressed phase of the year. had at least 2 tests every week! this went on for another 3 months, and amazingly i'd made it through, together with the company of my ammo buddies.

Now i'm back up there with something glorious, an identity.

Cross over
with 2008 coming to an end, i wanna thank God, for making me able to pull through every hardship, and allowing me to meet so many nice people out there. i believe 2009 will be another year of exciting happenings and unforgettable memories! hereby i wish all my beloved family and friends merry xmas & happy new year!

oh and i'll be back next weekend. =]]]]]]]]]]]

everything could have been better;